During small groups, there was a question raised by Kinsey regarding the relationship between sexuality and identity. Although it was specifically targeting Foucault’s thoughts on the subject and was a product of our previous class’ discussion, the concept stuck with me after class.
While Othered (non-heteronormative) sexualities often feel compelled to “come out” to their friends and family, heterosexual people feel none of the same pressure. Although it seemed implicitly logical, I tried to name a societal or cultural reason behind this compulsion. What I came to, is that heterosexual people don’t feel like their sexual identity defines them in the same way that Othered sexualities do. Often, people choose to identify and distinguish themselves from others with characteristics they feel make them “different” from other people, whether it’s something they are passionate about, or a personal characteristic or descriptor. We cling to these identities and feel like we are not living honest lives if the people close to us are not privy to these characteristics that define who we are, what we may define as our identity. These identities often appear as minority groups or opinions we align ourselves with. As a white person, I’ve often been the majority race present in a room, so I’ve never had to think about that as a personal identifier. However, there have been moments when I’ve suddenly become aware that I’m the only Jew in the room, and I find myself in these moments strongly clinging to this identity and recognizing how my religious background has distinguished how I see my environment. Our many “Othering” identities strongly influence the way we view and interact with the world and act as a personal foundation. However, since a heterosexual sexual orientation is assumed due to our heteronormative society, the Othered potentially feel compelled to live honestly. As a result, they feel a necessity to address their sexuality with their immediate social network, and eventually publicly. Furthermore, claiming these labels potentially can normalize the experience. If there is a word for your “Othering,” that means there are others, and claiming this label can unite people with similar experiences which can be an empowering move towards normalizing the experience once many people claim this identity.
However, claiming any identity can sometimes do more than the intended effect, a topic Hans effectively addressed in class. While someone may have some sexual orientation or gender they may feel necessary to announce to live honestly, sometimes these identities can come with baggage. This baggage can appear in different ways. First, identifying with labels can often implicitly align someone with movements and stereotypes associated with labels. For example, by claiming the identity of a gay man, you may implicitly align yourself with the gay rights campaign for legalizing marriage, even if you may not approve of marriage as a political establishment (a topic Hans also brought up as well). Secondly, suddenly your other labels and parts of your identity can often appear second to this new sexuality. An example raised in our small group was a theory that Foucault was a gay man, yet closely guarded this secret so as not to be branded a “gay philosopher”. Instead of being known and respected for his work, he’d be recognized as an empowered gay icon, or perhaps his ideas would be discredited due to discrimination. While some may bask in the empowerment of having this label as their primary identity, others may feel like it is restricting, or as a classmate phrased it, “limiting the human experience.”
Although I did not heavily participate in the class discussion, I really enjoyed hearing my internal conflict reflected by other participants. I personally have struggled and internally debated this topic before and will continue to do so. While I find labels restricting and often try to avoid claiming labels for myself in the hopes for a more fluid, non-committal identity, I cannot discredit them completely, for they have also brought comfort to others and myself.
Sofia Devin 
Dear Sofia,
Your blog post about the relationship between sexuality and identity really resonated with me and I liked how you explored the societal reason behind “Other” sexualities being pressured to come out while heterosexual people do not have the same compulsion. I think that it is so ingrained in our society for parents to assume that their children are heterosexual which means that anything that deviates from the norm has to speak out against their assumed identity and correct it. That extra barrier of having to say that they are different from the societal norm places heavy pressure on people who have different sexual identities to first try to fit in with a heteronormative society rather than accept their own identity.
I strongly agree with your statement about how minority groups feel like their sexual, racial, or different identities defines them more so than white, heterosexual people do. Coming from a majority asian town and school, I never saw myself as different until I came to Claremont, where a majority of students are white. Because my racial identity was a majority back in high school, I never saw my identity as that much of a defining characteristic for me. Here in college, I often find myself clinging to my Asian identity and oftentimes internalizing that I am different because of my race and that I will not be accepted by the norm even though it is not the case.
While Othered identities feel different from their more “normal” peers, I definitely agree that having a label and identifying with a community helps people feel more accepted and comfortable with their sexuality or racial identity. The feeling that you are normal and aligned with others who have the same characteristics as you produces a feeling of solidarity that allows people to accept themselves for the way they are.
Thank you for your insightful blog post! I look forward to hearing more from you in the future.
Sincerely,
Melinda Ximen
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